I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
