you win again, gameday.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
