if i can run in heels then i can drive
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
