exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
