After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
