i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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