did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize