Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
