Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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