I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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