youre lurking in front of me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
