no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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