Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
