He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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