oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
