So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
