i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
