I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
