I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
