She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
