Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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