This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize