Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
