im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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