Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
