Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
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Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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