Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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