i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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