did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
