Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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