Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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