Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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