goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
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Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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