Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need water and some morals
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
