when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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