just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
