You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
