no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize