I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
