you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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