is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
