...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
