I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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