Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The air was thick with penises
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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