Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
