I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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