oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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