I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
