i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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