I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
