id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
