I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
