god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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