just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
do nipples grow back?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
