Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We got so high we made milksteak
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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