I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
