wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
