You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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