Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
