Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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