What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
