I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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